ONE WAY I MANAGE MY ANXIETY

After having a miscarriage in 2017, I noticed a change in myself. I had this looming feeling of overwhelm and worry. It would hum right below the surface. Close enough to the top for me to be aware of it, distant enough for me to hide (or at least I tried to).

It felt like the stress you feel the morning of a big interview or the nervousness you feel as you creep up the incline of a roller coaster. It’s a general unease mixed with excitement rooted in a fear that something might go terribly wrong. But . . .  there is no big job interview or roller coaster. It’s just a normal day with me doing the normal things that life requires. Some days were more intense than others, but the heavy disquiet was there most of the time.

After dealing with this for about 2 years, I started to think that maybe this wasn’t normal and decided I needed some help. I saw a therapist and was diagnosed with acute anxiety.

With the help of my therapist, some deep reflecting + journaling, I was able to identify my triggers. It really all came back to my thoughts and perceptions. So, I developed what I like to call anchor statements to use as a tool to shift my responses from flight or fight to rest and digest.  

My anchor statements help pull me down and keep me settled. They’re simple enough to memorize so I can use them anytime, anywhere. They center my thoughts + calm the noise in my head so I can focus and be productive.

If any of this resonates with you, work on finding the right solution for you. The goal is to get the help you need so you can operate at your fullest potential in the healthiest way possible. These are the 3 anchor statements I use to help manage my anxiety.

I am enough.

A big part of my anxiety shows up as me worrying about if what I’m doing is enough. Did I do a good job? Should I be doing more? Could I have done it better? Then I realized what I was really asking myself is, am I enough? The answer is yes. Yes, I am enough. Today as I am, I am enough. As both, masterpiece and mess, I am enough. The same is true for you. The work you must do doesn’t negate the innate beauty + value you possess.

My life is beautiful now.

I obsess over my future a lot. What will happen? When it will happen? And how it will happen? The real issue was the doubt I was wrestling with. I was doubting if I would ever accomplish all the dreams I have for myself. And the truth is whether I do or not is completely up to me. I have the power to create the life I desire for myself. One of the keys to harnessing that type of power and energy is loving and appreciating what already exist. As we work towards our personal visions, let’s remember that our lives are beautiful now.

I can only control my input. Input = my attitude + my effort.

My attempt to control how things would work out was steeped in my fear that something would go wrong. And if things go wrong, what if I couldn’t handle it? What if I didn’t know what to do? I had to learn that I can’t control outcomes. Ridiculous that I would try, right? I know. There are a couple of things within my power, including my attitude + my effort. The rest is not up to me. I have also learned that even when things go wrong, I can handle that too.   

You will have to fight some battles more than once. - Margaret Thatcher

I use these often, especially in high stress situations. They remind me that some fears are real, and some are imagined (most are imagined by the way). They remind me that everything is going to be ok. They remind me that even if things go wrong, things are always going to work out for me. I will either win and everything will be ok. Or I will lose and learn, and everything will still be ok.

I remember my husband asking if I felt labeled by the diagnosis. Mostly, I felt relieved that I knew what was wrong and didn’t have to accept that this was just “how I was”. Owning it gave me something to understand and manage. At the core, my anxiety was all my fears, flaws, and insecurities balled into a big, messy knot. Getting the help, I needed, allowed me to pull the string and unravel the ball.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten much better at managing all of this. Some days take more effort than others but I’m no longer drowning like I was before. I’m telling you all my business because I don’t want you to feel alone or ashamed about what you’re struggling with. You don’t have to suffer in silence. I decided that my struggles with this wouldn’t define me and you can decide the same. Know that you’re bigger and stronger than any diagnosis they can give.

With the right help and resources, better days are within your reach. But you must choose them.

Take a deep breath.

Remember that you are strong + you got this.